The secret Child
by the-scary-girl-next-door
Summary: Dumbledore, worried about Lily and James' safety, tells Lily not to reveal her pregnancy. But what will happen when tempers start to fray?
1. marriage sickness

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 1: Marriage sickness**

"Lily?" drifted James' concerned voice from the other side of the closed bathroom door. "Lily, are you all right?"

Lily leached forward and was violently sick into the toilet, giving him an answer of, "EEERRRRGH!"

"Lily, babe."

Rolling her eyes at such an amusing name and tucking a strand of crimson hair being her ear, she answered, "Yes, what is it James? I'm trying to be sick here, all because Sirius and your bloody cooking, may I add."

"It wasn't the cooking. We followed that recipe to the letter."

"Like you used to in potions," she retorted quickly.

"Honestly, Sirius and I worked our fingers to the bone yesterday to make that anniversary dinner, and look at all the thanks we get," he said, as Lily came out of the bathroom, white and shaking.

"Yes, our first anniversary. After one year of marriage to you. And me, you and Sirius sat down, ate a curry and talked about Sirius' new motorbike…"

"Anyway," said James, moving the subject away from the motorbike and the fact that it was now in the house; never mind the fact Lily had forbid them to. "I cooked you breakfast." He held a plate of grease and sausages and eggs and grease and fried bread and other things that floated in grease under Lily's nose.

"Urrgh!" she said, pushing the plate away.

"I'll have it!" shouted Sirius from the dining table, where he was already eating his grease filled meal.

Lily rolled her eyes at such a comment and proceeded to pour herself a glass of water from the sink.

"Prongs, she's doing that thing again."

"What?"

"Ignoring the fact I'm here."

"Lily!" James exclaimed, "What's up?"

"Nothing ,but James, he is going to eat us out of our house and home. And anyway, is it bad if I want you all to myself?" she said, lowing her voice so only he could hear.

"But we were on our own last night. 'Cause I'm pretty sure Sirius wasn't there." He winked at Sirius, who, in return, gave him the thumbs up.

"James, after our 'meal in together', you went down the pub with Sirius and drank four bottles of Latvian peppered Fire whiskey each, and came home drunk and slept on the sofa. So don't think we have an amazing sex life, because we don't."

"But Lily…"

"'But Lily' what? James, you spend more times with your bum chums than you do with me and I'm your WIFE!"

"They're called Marauders, and we do spend time together. Lots. I remember last week when you asked me to pass the marmalade at breakfast, and I did."

"God! And this house is a mess." She indicated to the room that was so untidy you couldn't see the floor. "I asked you to wash these dishes four days ago! And Sirius, you've been wearing the same underwear all week." She now pointed to Sirius who was only clad in the said garments.

"Lily, just because Dumbledore told us to cut down on magic didn't mean you had to confiscate our wands."

"Muggles get around without magic."

"Yes, but we're not Muggles are we?" James said, who was now making toast, or battling with the toaster, whatever way you wanted to put it.

"Here." Lily pulled the lever which lowered the toast. "Look James, I wanted to tell you something last night but…"

"HEY! WE'RE MISSING THE CANNONS!" Shouted Sirius, suddenly running over the radio and turning it on .

"Lily, can't it wait?" asked James, before running over to his friend.

"_Cannons are thirty points behind wasps_…"

"Come on Cannons!"

"Yeah, come on Cannons!"

She shook her head and decided to go get dressed.

The Potters marriage had been going downhill for some time now, and the arrival of Sirius seemed to of just finished it off. Lily sat on the bed; and now, to top it all off, she had got a cake in the oven.

"Great." Lily had found out only a few days ago and had decided to tell James as his Anniversary present, but she hadn't planned Sirius to be there.

Sirius' flat was being cleaned. When the Ministry found out Devil's Snare was starting to grow, they classed it a 'Dangerous area ', and so Sirius had been evicted. Well, that was his story, which would explain the unhygienic conditions, but Lily rather thought it was because Sirius was lonely.

"Wasn't a child supposed to make a marriage complete?"

She pulled off her pyjama top and put on a clean white shirt. It was her day off today. Lily worked in the Ministry helping out Muggles who's children were new to the wizarding world. James, on the other hand, worked in the international games committee and was still obsessed over Quidditch .

Sirius, at this time, was unemployed.

"Ok, who stole my underwear again?"

_Dear Lily,_

_I need to talk to you and I'd rather not do so by owl. Do you think you could come up to the school? I'm rather busy at the moment. Minerva has been off with flu and I've started to teach her class. It is rather enjoyable really, but I have a great deal more respect for our Transfiguration professor now. _

_I hope you and James are well and Sirius is not imposing on your great hospitality more than necessary._

_Call round at about eight and I should be free._

_See you soon,_

_Albus Dumbledore._

Lily re-read the letter; she hadn't the faintest idea what Dumbledore would need to talk to her about so urgently.

She had received a letter saying that they were to minimise there magic use, as spies in the Ministry were known for getting hold of the list of spells that had been performed. But still…The letter had a friendly tone but… he'd ask her to come up to Hogwarts. It must be important.

She shrugged and folded up the letter and put it back inside the envelope..

It was then when she saw the bike, sitting in the middle of her bedroom. HER BEDROOM. Her private space.

"James?" she asked, as she entered the kitchen. He and Sirius were still crowed around the radio (190- 20 to the wasps ). "James, why is there a motorbike in our bedroom?"

"Ahh… I was hoping you wouldn't see that."

"Of course I'd see it. I am not blind. So I will ask again: why is there a Motorbike in our bedroom?"

"Well you see… Sirius couldn't leave it outside because of the rain. And those punks that live next door." Sirius nodded. "Damn punks and their weirdo hair trying to fly my bike."

"Padfoot, they didn't know the motorbike could fly-"

"WHAT?" screamed Lily. "IT'S A _MAGICAL _MOTORBIKE! THAT'S IT, GET IT OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"Lily, calm down…"

"NO MAGIC IN THE HOUSE!"

"You sound like your mother when you say that . Remember the time she didn't want me in the house because of my 'bad blood'? Oh God Lils, you're turning into your mother….."

That seemed to calm her. She sat down at the kitchen table and rubbed her temples.

"Listen James, I have to go out later. Get that bike out of my house before I get back, or I'll castrate you."

"Yes dear."

"James, are you listening to me?"

"Yes, and it's my house remember?"

That's right: Godrics Hollow belonged to the Potters . Mr and Mrs. Potter, Harry and Doreen, had given the house to James as a wedding present.

"That's right, Mummy and Daddy gave it to you."

"Lily, I didn't mean it like that.."

"Oh sure you did. Just because you're used to your Potter mansion, you don't like slumming it with us commoners."

"Lily, what is wrong with you? You've been acting strange all day. If you're ill, maybe you should go to St. Mungo's."

"I'm fine, just stop fussing."

She sat in silence for a while, and James and Sirius went back to there match. At midday, she stood up .

"Who wants dinner?" She crossed to the cupboards. "Um…you had a midnight feast didn't you?" The cupboards were bare . "You should've said; I would have went shopping."

"Err, yeah sorry…"

This was it - Lily could laugh, if anyone would have told her a year ago marriage was like this ….

It wasn't working; her and James. She needed to tell him.

"James … listen I think I'm …Going to get some of those Muggle chips! Excellent! I'm going out I won't be back till late, ok? And James, tidy up, will you?"

She walked out of the house and down the street to the local café.

"What did she say before she left, Paddy?"

Sirius shrugged.

AUTHORS NOTE: YES THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED THANKS TO MY BETA


	2. secret break through

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 2: Secret Break through**

"Ow! Sodding hell!" Lily cursed as a sharp pain shot down her side; she guessed this was the price she would have to pay for Apparating.

Gingerly, she took another step forward and looked towards the giant castle in the distance.

'Merlin,' she thought, 'this is going to be one hell of a walk!'

It was only ten minutes later that she was cursing again.

"Now I'm late! God Lily Evans--I mean, Potter, this is the last time you have a fumble with a man on the back of a broom. You will become a nun! Never again! Sex is so overrated!"

"Ow!"

While taking to herself , she had not been watching where she was going, and promptly walked headlong into someone; a very small someone. The someone fell over into the snow that covered the ground.

"Here," Lily said, holding out her hand for the Hobbit sized person to take.

The student, for that who it was, gave Lily a very disturbed look before scurrying away . "I wasn't talking about_ my _sex life. I was talking about a fri- ok, I'm going to shut up now!"

The child had vanished, leaving Lily alone and talking to herself again.

-

"Ah , Mrs Potter, I was wondering if you were going to come."

"Yes, sorry Professor, you see it took me ages to walk here because--well, never mind. Better late than never ?" she asked.

"Indeed. And 'Professor'? I hardly think you need call me that. After all, I haven't had the pleasure in teaching you in several years. Here." He indicated to a chair by his desk. "Please sit down."

Obediently, Lily sat and Dumbledore did the same.

"Sorry Albus, um… is it Hogsmeade weekend because I just saw a student out by the forest-"

"I see you find it hard to let go of your Head Girl responsibilities," he cut in with a chuckle. "No, Richard had the job of seeing where you were - and he seemed under the impression that you should see Madam Pomfrey about-"

Lily hoped he wasn't going to say what she thought he was going to say. That's all she needed, the headmaster of Hogwarts knowing she was up the duff.

"- you talking to yourself ." She closed her eyes with relief and didn't see Dumbeldore's eyes twinkle mischievously behind his half moon glasses.

"Lily, I asked you here today because my sources tell me that there is a spy in the Order. A spy who has been passing a lot of information to Voldemort," Lily shifted uncomfortabl, "About several people in particular; you and James included."

"You mean?"

"Yes, whoever the spy is, it is someone you know."

She knew of course that there were spies. How could there be a war without them? But, but this just brought the fact home.

Home.

"It's not Sirius is it?"

"We cannot rule out the possibility. But I have something else to tell you."

_As if the fact she was living with a spy wasn't bad enough._

"Lily, I am talking to you like I have to many young couples - the Longbottoms , the Prewetts , the Abbots for example . It is only natural that you will want to start a family."

Lily opened her mouth to protest

"Please, let me finish."

She closed it again.

"But I urge you to be careful."

Oh , so this is what it was about : the Birds and the Bees . _Bit late for that, s_poke the voice in her head. It had been embarrassing enough in seventh year.

Dumbledore was now rummaging in his desk draw.

_No, he's going show me different forms of protection now._

"Hey, look Prongsie!" Her mind was drifting back to when she was thirteen and Sirius had found a condom. "Look I can stretch it right over my head . Harhar, I'm a giant penis!"

"Aha! Found it," said Dumbledore straightening up. He produced a crystal phial.

Taking out the cork, he tipped the phial upside down . A kind of mist floated aimlessly in mid air, and after a few moments, Lily noticed a shadow in the middle of the mist .

Then she heard it .

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… born to those who had thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies… and the Dark Lord will him as an equal, but he will have a power the Dark Lord knows not… and either must die at the hands of the other for neither can live while the other survives… the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…"

-

Lily emerged from Dumbledore's office sometime later . It was darker now and her long shadow crept down the hall with her.

"Oho! Lily m'dear!"

Lily jumped at the sudden noise and turned around quickly her wand drawn.

The large form of Horace Slughorn stood in front of her. She inwardly groaned but plastered a fake smile onto her face.

"Horace, it's a pleasure to see you again."

And before Lily could protest, she found herself in Slughorn's office.

Her mind was still turning over all Dumbledore had said; telling her that if she _was_ pregnant that it would have to be kept a secret for as long as possible.

"No one must know, if that is the case. Not even James."

"But-"

"Lily, if you die while carrying the child, that could bring an end to this war, then every wizard and witches fate is sealed."

"Lily?"

Quickly she was shaken out of her thoughts by Slughorn.

"Sorry?"

"I asked if you wanted some tea?"

"No thank you, Horace. I really must be going-" But Slughorn took no notice and began to pour out a cup anyway.

"I had Patrick Wood asking after you a few days ago- works for Puddlemore United now, you know?"

"Oh really?" Lily asked, looking at the sky that was getting darker by the second.

"You really should get together."

"Horace, I'm married, remember?"

"Yes, yes," he answered, waving this information aside quickly. "Once knew a witch who had seventeen husbands."

"Yes well, one's enough for me. Anyway, that reminds me: I must go. Thank you for the tea."

"How is Jason?"

"James, and he's fine."

"Still working in the department of sport and games ?"

"Yes."

"Always said you could do better."

Lily didn't answer.

"Not the best marriage in the world," he commented, rather to himself than to Lily.

"Oh really?" Lily remembered her wedding; Slughorn decided he didn't want to come after Lily had informed him that her father would be giving her away, not him.

"But what's your Father got that I haven't?" She remembered him asking her.

"I'll tell Patrick that you'll have a date sometime." Slughorn was now looking for a box of crystallized pineapples.

When he turned round to offer her one, he found the room empty.

-

After a rather uncomfortable ride on the Knight Bus , Lily returned To Godric's Hollow .

The sun was just starting to rise. Putting her key in the lock, she heard music playing from inside.

"_I want to break free,  
I want to break free,  
I want to break free from your lies,  
You're so self satisfied I don't need you.  
I've got to break free,  
God knows, God knows I want to break free!"_

And there, if on queue, came James and Sirius. Wearing-

"MY CLOTHES!"

But they didn't seen to notice Lily's intense screaming . James swaggered up to Lily and planted a kiss on her cheek, smelling strongly of alcohol.

He then grabbed up Lily prized possession : her vacuum cleaner. And started dancing with it.

Sirius on the other hand was doing a very rude dance that involved a feather duster.

"I can't leave you for one minute, can I?"


	3. Christmas, crushes and crying

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 3: Christmas, crushes, and crying**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE ALREADY SAID YES?"

"WELL YOU WOULD HAVE SAID NO IF I ASKED YOU!"

The Potter household once again had been turned into a war zone, and Lily and James were arguing.

"OF COURSE I WOULD HAVE SAID NO! SHE HATES ME!"

If anyone had entered the house at that particular moment, they would've thought it was slightly odd that Mr and Mrs Potter were stood nose to nose screaming at each other, and that a man by the name of Sirius Black was taking refuge behind the sofa. But this, of course, was Godric's Hollow, and everything was odd.

"LILY, MY MOTHER DOESN'T HATE YOU! YOU JUST WON'T GIVE HER A CHANCE!"

"ME, GIVE HER A CHANCE!" She gave a shrill laugh. "THAT'S RICH COMING FROM YOU!"

"IT'S ONLY A WEEK, FOR MELIN'S SAKE!"

"YES, JUST THINK HOW MANY CHANCES SHE'LL HAVE TO POISON ME!"

"Yeah, but you must admit Mrs. P's cooking is the best," said Sirius, popping his head up from behind the sofa and promptly ducking back down again, as a flower pot launched itself across the room at his head.

"LILY, THAT WAS AN ANTIQUE!"

"WELL GET MUMMY TO BUY YOU ANOTHER ONE. AND YOU, " she turned to Sirius. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE."

"She doesn't mean it, mate."

"OH, DON'T I?"

The argument continued well into the night and as a result James slept out in the garden.

"God, even Sirius' motorbike gets to sleep indoors."

But no amount of protesting, screaming, kicking, large heavy objects being thrown at people's heads, and chaining oneself to a chair, could excuse the fact the Lily would be leaving the comfort of her house for Christmas for the luxury of the Potter senior's abode.

"James!" shrieked Doreen Potter, pulling her only son into the hug as they crossed the threshold, before pulling away abruptly "You're all skin and bones. What has she been feeding you on?"

"She has a name." Lily stood in the doorway, trying to carry the suitcases full of presents that James had insisted on bringing.

"Sirius!" called Doreen, ignoring Lily altogether. "I've just made another batch of my famous mince pies, care for one?"

"Coming, Mrs P."

"And you," she said, turning to Lily at last, "Take those bags upstairs. They're blocking the hall."

There were a total of 138 steps leading up to the 2nd of 12 floors, but, of course, Lily didn't know that. Yet.

"Take those bags up stairs," Lily mimicked in a high-pitched voice as she levitated the suitcases up the never-ending staircase. "Ha! Stupid old bag. Think she knows best. Oh no! I'm not good enough for James. The Queen of Sheba wouldn't be good enough for her ickle Jamsie-waymsie -" She stopped; something was tugging on the hem of her robes.

"Miss." It was a House elf, wearing what appeared to be a large napkin embossed with the Potter crest (-a lion holding a wand in it's mouth). "Miss," the elf repeated again. She waited uncertainly then suddenly blurted out: "Is Master Sirius with you?"

"What? Yes." The house elf started to giggle.

"Why?"

"No reason, Miss," she chimed quickly, turning (if it were possible for an elf to do so), slightly red and scampering away.

Lily 'tut'-ted and shook her head. "I do believe that elf had a crush on him."

Lily came down to breakfast on the 25th, feeling rather sick. She had, pf course, put a silencing spell on the bathroom before actually being sick; the last thing she needed was Doreen knowing anything about anything.

"Bout time- James insisted on waiting, " greeted Sirius.

"And A Merry Christmas to you too."

"Present time!"

Before Lily could say another word, the room was filled with shredded wrapping paper.

For a moment, one small moment, Lily felt like this was how Christmas should be. No houseguests who are evil spies, no mad mother in-law, no secrets about a child who could ruin the Dark Lord: just Christmas.

"Oh wow, James!" exclaimed Sirius "This must've cost you a fortune-"

"Yeah, well you're worth it, Padfoot."

"Look socks off Moony again! I think he has an obsession with them. Look Prongsie, you've got some too!"

"Hey, get off my presents!" Lily turned away from the pair and noticed a letter addressed for her.

She opened it

_Lily, _

_Merry Christmas. Hope you are well. Alice Longbottom was asking after you. I think you should see her in the New Year. All the best,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

"Um../Lily?" She looked up; both Sirius and James had unwrapped their presents from her at the same time; both were wearing the same look of shock mingled with horror on their faces.

James held up his present as though it might suddenly bite his nose off: it was a pink frilly bra.

"Well you kept stealing mine so I though I'd by you your own."

"And what are trying to suggest? That my son is a _cross-dresser_?"

Lily had completely forgotten that Doreen and Harry were in the room.

"I …well…"

"Dear, I'm sure she didn't mean it like that. More of a joke. HA HA HA." Lily was feeling more grateful for Mr Potter each second.

"Shut up, Harry."

"Yes dear."

"Well?"

"Here, open this," said Sirius suddenly, thrusting a present into Lily's lap.

She opened it, grateful for the distraction.

It was a book.

"Thank y-"

The title of the book said: _How to spice up your sex life - the magical way._

"Has a chapter on different spells, Karma sutra and baby making," informed Sirius knowledgeably.

"Sirius!-"

"James I don't know why you're complaining. You said to me just the other night that you weren't getting an-" At this, James started coughing so loudly that Sirius' words were blocked out.

"AHHHHHH!"

"What was that?" Lily asked Sirius quickly.

"Dunno. Maybe James opened the Howler I get each year from my mum."

A moment later, James entered the Dining room, red faced with his shirt ripped.

"Padfoot why is Poppet in your bedroom?"

"Who?"

"The House elf."

"Cleaning?"

"I don't think she had cleaning on her mind somehow."

"James what happened?" questioned Lily.

"I walked into Sirius bedroom and Poppet jumped on me."

"What?"

"I think she thought I was you, mate. What have you been saying to her?"

"Umm…. Nothing…."

"God, you pervert."

"I didn't, I swear!"

It was dark now and even though it was early, Lily settled herself down to sleep.

She woke sometime later to someone tapping on her door.

"Lily?"

She pulled on her dressing gown and cautiously approached it.

It was James

"Can I come in?"

Doreen had protested that James and Lily both sleep in different bedrooms. She rolled her eyes but stepped aside all the same, letting him in.

He sat on the bed. "I didn't give you your Christmas Present." He held out a box.

"Oh James!" It was a pair of pearl earrings.

"My mum does like you, you know? She's just protective."

"Yeah, I know."

They sat in silence for a while.

"I love you, Lily."

She waited. There was a "but" coming.

"But," - Yes, see, she was right!

"You're not the same as you were. I'm not blaming you. I'm properly the one who made you like this. God Lily, I'm sorry. I've dragged you down. You could do so much with your life if it wasn't for me pestering you at school and you saying you'd go out with me just to keep me quiet. And now look at us. This doesn't feel like a marriage should. I don't know what to do Lily, I really don't."

She could feel the emotion in his words.

"You don't want to end it do you?"

"Merlin no."

"Me either."

"But we can't go on like this."

"No," Lily agreed.

"I just think we need some time apart - clear the air."

Tears sprang into the corner of her eyes instantly.

He stood up and walked towards the door.

"James -" She was going to tell him everything.

But stopped.

"I love you."

He gave one curt nod, then left, leaving Lily alone, and even the darkness, couldn't muffle her strangled sobs

AUTHORS NOTE: Yes this chapter has also been edited. next chapter up soon. Thank you all for you reviews please keep them coming.

Kerrie x-x-x-x


	4. arrivals and departures

**Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer: there are worse things i could do then write a harry potter book or two, make JKR sound all trashy and no good there are worse things i could doooooooooo!**

"James?" Lily said, with a note of confusion in her voice. "What are you doing here?"

He didn't speak, but merely smiled at her. James looked slightly different - older. Not much older though, just a year or two. A few grey hairs among the mass of raven ones, and wrinkles starting to appear at the corners of his eyes. The wrinkles looked premature on his otherwise young face.

"James? What are we doing here?"

She looked around; they were in an empty room. Chairs and desks had been pushed against the stone walls. She guessed they must be in a classroom at Hogwarts. "But how did we get here?"

It was then, Lily let out a gasp of surprise. Behind her stood a mass of people - her mother, father, grandmother and grandfather, Harry, Doreen and other people Lily didn't even know.

They were all silent.

Deathly silent.

And unnaturally pale.

At that moment, James took hold of her hand. She turned back to him. "What's-" He nodded to something in front of him and she stopped.

It was a boy of no more than ten or eleven. He stood facing the crowd of people, a look of shock, sadness and joy on his face, all at the same time. He reached out a hand towards Lily, but stopped centimetres from touching her, as though some invisible force was holding him back.

The boy had dark hair, messy and wild.He wore glasses as well. It was then Lily realised she was looking at a younger version of James.

The boy was the same build and height as James was when he was that age, his face looked the same as well. His eyes were bright green and beneath his fringe he had what looked like a cut - trust James! He was always getting into troub--Green eyes! The boy had green eyes! James' eyes were brown. She looked more closely at this phantom boy. His eyes we just like hers…..

Then the boy spoke, or rather mimed as no sound came out of his mouth. He mouthed each word "Mum? Dad?"

James nodded in return. A tear leaked out of the corner of the boy's eye and a sadness Lily had never seen before took over him. Then - _CRASH!_

Lily woke with a start. Sweat dripped off her body and her bedclothes had fallen off her bed completely, where she had been tossing and turning in her sleep. She blinked in the semi darkness of her bedroom, before remembering what had awoken her.

She grabbed up her wand from her bedside table and jumped out of bed.

For a second, she though it was James that had awoken her. But, of course, he hadn't. She could hear Sirius' deep snores from the next room so it wasn't Sirius either. Who had it been then?

Lily crept out of her bedroom, trying to make as little noise a possible. The intruder- whoever it was- was in the dining room.

She snuck forwards, no longer afraid; she could see the figure. He had his back to her. "Ok," Lily told herself, "On three." She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. "One...Two…Three!" She shouted the last word out, and at the same time, shot a stunning spell at the figure.

He tried to duck out of the path of the red sparks, but there was no avail. The person fell backwards and landed with a thump on the floor.

Lily hurried over to him quickly, then, as she saw who it was, she knew she had made a terrible mistake.

"Here," said Lily, handing over a steaming mug of Hot Chocolate. "I feel terrible now. Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes fine. It's my fault. Sorry," said the high pitched voice of Peter Pettigrew. His eyes were watering in pain as he massaged his arm which he had hit on the coffee table on the way down.

"God, trust you Wormtail. Flooing! Any other wizard who have used the front door," grinned Sirius Black, who was lazing on the couch opposite his friend.

"Any other wizard" said Lily, sitting down next to Sirius, "Would have waited until daylight."

"Yes. Sorry, Mum was being-"

"You're still living with your mum, then?" Sirius asked, a note of smugness in his voice.

"I see your still living with your best friend," chimed Lily.

"Nope, I'm actually living with my best friend's wife. Now that'll be something to tell the fella's in the Hogs head!"

"Where is James, then?"

"Well-"

"Sirius, don't you dare talk about him in MY house."

"I'll tell you later," he whispered to Peter, then said to Lily, "God, you look a right state."

"Well I could say the same to you. I don't think those boxers are fit enough to polish with, let alone sleep in."

Standing, Lily walked over to the mirror. Sirius was right; she did look a mess. She looked paler than usual, had dark bags under her eyes, showing she hadn't slept properly, and her hair was all frizzy and looked like a nest perched onto of her head. Also, the affects of the concealment charm she had started to put on her stomach were fading. Although it didn't show, she told herself she would need to be more careful in future.

"So James invited you for New years?" Sirius asked Peter.

"Yeah."

"And Moony?"

"I guess so."

"Hmmm… wonder why he didn't tell me."

"I'm his wife and he doesn't tell me anything either," Lily said, returning to the couch and plopping down on it.

"I'm going back to bed," yawned Sirius.

"It's nearly seven now, you might as well stay up."

"Wake me up in five hours time," he continued, ignoring Lily before disappearing

"Um…Lily?"

" I suppose James said you could sleep here?"

Peter nodded.

"I'm going to be having words with him…You can have the sofa," she added as an after thought.

As Lily walked away, Peter heard her muttering. "What does James and his bitches think this is? Gang bang? A brothel? Porno movie set? No, wait, that was there dormintory at Hogwarts "

"Moony!"

"Hello Sirius," Remus Lupin smiled, looking up from the book he was reading.

"When did you get here?"

"A couple of hours ago. I suppose Peter went to Godric's Hollow did he?"

"Yeah."

"I had the brains to owl a letter of confirmation before I arrived out-of-the-blue on Lily's doorstep."

"She wouldn't have minded if you did, she's always had a soft spot for you anyway. Wormtail floo-ed over in the middle of the night."

"Peter." Remus nodded in acknowledgment as his friend entered.

"Remus," Peter answered rather stiffly.

"Mr Pettigrew, so glad you arrived. I had nearly given up hope," James appeared in the kitchen of Mr and Mrs Potters house, a smile plastered across his face. He then pulled Peter into what was unmistakably a bear hug.

"Alright Wormtail?"

"Yup," he answered breathlessly, as his rubbed his ribs.

"Sorry about the change of plan. I did mean to owl you."

"Don't worry. Everything's ok now. Hahaha"

"Lily wasn't very happy though." Sirius scowled.

"When is she?"  
"I was wondering why you were here not a home."

"Just like a school reunion," said James suddenly, changing the subject. "The Marauders

are back! All we need to is old Snapey-poo."

"Not much chance of that. Haven't see hide nor hair of him since we left school."

"Maybe the vampire hunters have stuck a stake through his heart at last."

"Sirius, you're always so melodramatic."

"Melodrowhat?"

"See you haven't changed Moony," grinned James. "And Sirius, stop annoying my guests - that's my job."

"So, are we going drinking or what?"

"God Sirius, is that all you ever think about - getting pissed ?"

"Yeah , well that and getting laid." Remus rolled his eyes at that comment.

"There's not much chance of that."

"Hey!"

At long last, Lily was alone, and she was taking complete advantage of this rare opportunity. Sirius had told her that 'The Marauders' were going drinking and were going to welcome in the new year in style. She sighed, content as she lay back in the warm soapy bubbles of her bath. The smell of lavender wafted through the room. So what that it was New Years Eve? So what that she was spending it alone? She yawned. So what that James had left her. So what that….that…. So what… Her eyelids fluttered shut over her emerald orbs and she slept like a baby.

Lily awoke sometime later to the sound of knocking on the door. She stepped out of the now cold water of the bath, wrapped herself up in her dressing gown and approached the door, forgetting her wand in her haste. Opening the door she found herself face to face with the last person she had expected to meet.

"Lily," said a familiar Scottish accent, one that she hadn't heard since school. "Lily, can I come in? I've left home. I've left home for you."

**Authors note: Once again i would like to thank everyone who has reveiewed this story so far ! Please keep 'em coming because they make me happy. Big shout out to my Beta Cath procrastinator-starting2moro ! um... HOPE EVERYONE HAS AHARRY EASTER! the next chapter will be up soon. lots of love **

**Kerrie x-x-x-x-x**


	5. alcohol and the side effects

**Chapter 5**

"Always telling me what to do all the time!"

"Yeah" agreed Remus, Sirius and Peter. In fact, they were all too drunk to know what they were agreeing to, but James didn't notice this. Maybe it was the fact he also had consumed a large amount of alcohol.

"Nagging me about cleaning."

"Yeah."

"Or cooking."

"Yeah."

"Or taking a bath."

"Yeah," the three men agreed again.

"And the nagging doesn't stop in the bedroom--"

"We do…We do not need to know about your…. Yourrrr sex life," slurred Remus.

"The last few months she's changed…Going out in the middle of the night…Acting all edgy…. And moody…Getting letters and keeping them a secret .She thinks I don't no but I do--"

"OI! BARMAN" called Sirius Black. "ANOTHER ROUND OF DRINKS HERE PLEASE, AND STICK IT ON HIS TAB." He pointed to James.

"I dunno what's happened to her." He continued not taking any notice of Sirius.

"Maybe she's got another man." Sirius said thoughtfully, stroking his chin.

"If she had I'd …. I'd Avada Kedavra his arse."

"Maybe she's going through a mid life Crisis," suggested Remus.

"Ssssh…. She's Twenty."

"She might be Pregnant," added Peter.

The three boys started to laugh hysterically.

"Peter how… how much 'av you had to drink?" They managed to asked between cries of laughter.

" Patrick?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"Hiya Lils." He swayed on the spot slightly.

"What do you mean 'left home'?"

" I love you Lippy. I've come to live with you."

"You're drunk." She could smell the rancid smell of alcohol on him.

"Licky, don't pick faults; I'm here and that's… that's all that matters--"

"Patrick you have a wife ." She hated having to point out the obvious.

And as an after thought, she added, "And I'm married," though she doubted for much longer.

"S'no your not… Heard James Telling Dung all bout it…"

"Great…." That was all she needed.

"You asked Slughorn about me…."

"I did no such thing." In all the confusion, Lily had forgotten that she was still stood on the doorstep in a towel.

"Patrick, go home."

"Lily." He stepped forward and clamped his lips on hers.

For a spilt second, Lily didn't know what she was doing. She kissed him back - maybe it was because she felt so awful, that she hadn't had any male attention in months, or that she was just lonely. But, whatever it was, she kissed him

Raising her hand as to run it through his hair, Lily found it much shorter and she knew she wasn't thinking of Patrick at all but someone else.

James.

She let out a muffled scream and started beating him off her.

They broke apart.

"Patrick what do you… do … do you?" She didn't know what to say. Her --Lily Evans-- stuck for words.

"What about your wife?" she managed to ask after a few minutes "Oh my, you have a son Patrick!"

"Oh yesss; Oliver. He's gonna be a flyer like his dad." Patrick did something that Lily thought was very strange; he started to cry.

"Patrick?"

He sunk to the floor, his head in his hands.

"I forgot Oliver. I can't leave Oliver. Lil, I can't."

"Patrick, you don't have to."

"Don't I?" he asked hopefully.

Lily bent down next to him. "No," she smiled, "You don't have to do anything."

"I'll go now."

"Yes" Lily agreed.

He stood up slowly, grabbing onto Lily for support. "Why are we spinning?" He then proceeded to be sick on the doorstep.

"Bloody hell. Come in a sober up." She grabbed him under the arm and slowly took him inside.

"Thank youb," he slurred.

"I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for Oliver."

"Be a man."

"Bra's."

"That's your house!"

"You're king of the castle."

"She'll be begging you to go back!"

"Bra's."

"Just go straight in and tell her."

"Bra's."

"Sirius stop talking about effing Bra's!"

Everyone in the pub was calling out suggestions of what James should do about Lily.

James puffed out his chest importantly, "Yeah I will."

Staggering slightly, James Potter left the pub.

As soon as he was gone, someone called out, "A toast to the condemned man!"

Everyone raised there glasses and the 12 tolls of the clock began.

_BOOM_

Patrick laid out on the couch, fast asleep.

_BOOM_

Lily stood in the next room, sipping a black coffee thoughtfully

_BOOM_

James staggered towards Godric's Hollow.

_BOOM_

Sirius downed anther pint of Larger.

_BOOM _

And another.

_BOOM_

_BOOM_

_BOOM_

Patrick stirred in his sleep.

_BOOM_

Lily sighed, closing her eyes at the same time. _What a night!_

_BOOM_

James staggered up the path. "Ok, concentrate." He told himself.

_BOOM_

_BOOM_

"WHATS HE DOING HERE?"

Lily's eyes snapped open; the cup of coffee she was holding fell from her hand.

James stood over Patrick who, had since, woken up. James' face was contorted in a rage; Lily had never seen grace his face before.

"WHATS HE BLOODY DOING HERE?"

"I….James …How did you?"

"I used my key." In fact, it was still clutched in his white shaking hand.

He took a step towards Patrick and grabbed a handful of his robes, pulling the frightened man to his feet so they were stood nose to nose.

"If you've touched her, I swear I'll…"

"I haven't. I haven't," sobbed the man.

James pushed him away as though disgusted by the sight of him.

"LIAR!" he shouted. " What were you doing with MY WIFE?"

"I didn't."

"James!" Lily called.

He ignored her, taking his wand out from the inside of his robes. He placed it near Patrick's temple and whispered, "If you don't tell me now, Merlin help me; I'll blast you from here to kingdom come."

"JAMES!"

"LILY KEEP OUT OF THIS."

"JAMES!"

"LILY. KEEP. OUT. OF. THIS. " He muttered through clenched teeth.

She turned on her heel and marched back into the kitchen.

Scrambling between the rusty cauldrons, empty potion bottles and cleaning products, she found what she was looking for and snatched it up, running back into the living room.

She thrust a small vial into his hand. James turned around to look at what Lily had just given him, his wand slipping down several inches from it's intended target.

"What's this?"

"Truth potion."

"How?"

"James, I was one of the best potion makers ever to have been at Hogwarts. If you won't believe me then maybe you'll believe this."

James ripped the cork out of the bottle and tipped the contents of the vial down Patrick's throat. He spluttered and coughed then was silent.

"What are you doing in my house?" asked James.

"I came to see Lily."

"Have you been having an affair with her?"

"No." Patrick answered back quickly.

"Have you ever…done…anything…With her?"

"No."

"Satisfied?" Lily asked.

James stuck his wand back inside his pocket.

Patrick jumped up quickly as though he had been sat on hot coal. "I should get the Aurors on you," he muttered.

"Patrick, I am _so _sorry…." Lily started, as he crossed the room

"You're mental, both of you. You deserve each other." And he left, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

The two people that were left were silent.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you."

Lily laughed, "Bit late for that now!"

"Lily I…"

"James I've NEVER asked you to fight my battles," she spat bitterly.

"But…I'm your husband."

"Well act like it instead of a jealous boyfriend."

"Lily--" he started, but Lily cut across him.

"And I'm not even sure if I want to be your wife any more."

"Can't we just start again?" he asked hopefully.

"I don't know."

"I do love you Lily."

"Doesn't seem like that."

"Say you love me."

"I….I…. I… can't, " she spluttered. "You left me James," she stated as though that ended the matter." You can't just come back and tell me the last week never happened."

"Just say we've still got a chance. Say you don't want to give up on us," he carried on.

"No, I don't want that. Just never do that again, James. You can't go around hurting people because they've done something you don't like. What if you turned on me? Or…. Or…Just promise me James, and I'll give you another chance."

She sat on the couch.

"I'd never hurt you. I promise", he said solemnly, and he entered the spare bedroom which belonged to Sirius.

Lily wanted to protest that he shouldn't be here that he should go back to his parents for tonight, but before she could say another word, sleep took over her and her head lolled forward.

_I hate Alcohol! _she thought.

And she slept like a baby, for the rest of the night.

**Authors note: Yes, i think this chapter is really out of person for both Lily and James but i had to put this in so that everyone can see that James really DOES love lily after all. Also Lilies little kiss - well she's really lonely at the moment and just wants to be loved. Thanks you to all the people who have commented so far and the people who have added me to their fav authors/ stories list. YOU ALL WIN AT LIFE! Remember to click that lilttle button down ther and say something as i am a bit of comment whore. EDIT: yes changed the typo above. Thank you cath for pointing that out!**

**Kerrie x-x-x-x-x**


	6. feelings, fighting and fangs?

**Hello people. Here is chapter 6 for your enjoyment. Please remember to review !**

**Kerrie x-x-x-x**

DISCLAIMER: no i do not own harry potter. I am making no money out of this. I am, poor :(

Chapter 6 

"Thanks," smiled James, as Lily handed him a Butterbeer.

"My pleasure."

Ever since the incident at New Years Eve the couple had both been extra polite to one another.

Too polite, if truth be told.

Sirius had found their newfound niceness creepy as well. "And damn right weird." And had said as much to James ("I like you guys better when you were fighting.") And personally Lily agreed.

She had smiled so much in the past few days that her jaw was actually aching! And instead of smiling most of the time she felt like screaming.

Not that she had much time to herself anymore.

If life had been bad with just James, Sirius and herself, it was unbearable now. Not that Remus and Peter were bad houseguests (well, Remus anyway), but she now found herself serving the four men twenty-four-seven - Literally!

And when she finally did get to bed she couldn't sleep. This deprival was taking its toll on her and Lily actually found herself wearing sunglasses indoors to hide the dark rings around her eyes.

"Listen James, I'm going out later." James' head snapped round quickly to face her.

"When? Where? With whom?" he asked - apparently he hadn't completely forgotten about what had happened.

"Later. And where I go and with who I meet is no business of yours." James gave her a last searching look as though he was about to protest, half shrugged as turned back to his friends (all of whom had fell silence at Lily's entrance into the room.)

-----

Later that day Lily could be found standing in front of her full-length mirror in her bedroom (James still hadn't been brave enough to move back in and was most likely sharing a bed with one of his bum-chums.). She tugged at a stand of lifeless scarlet hair, sighing at the look of the sad reflection staring back at her.

She pulled on a clean shirt, noticing as she did, so the buttons strained as she did them up. Muttering a quick concealment charm sorted out this problem but the uncomfortable feeling remained.

Lily sighed again. "That's as good as it's going to get," she told herself.

"James! I'm going out now. Don't wait up." (As if). Footsteps pounded on the stairs.

"Sure honey, what time will you be back?" he asked.

"Sometime tonight."

"But Lily, it's already getting dark."

"What James?" She snapped. "Are you saying I have a curfew now?"

"No, I just—"

"Because you are not my keeper, James. I don't have to answer to you." And with that she marched straight past him.

------

Lily rapped hard on the door with her white knuckles.

"Lily! Oh my God! It must be freezing out there! Come in!"

Gingerly she stepped into the house.

The woman who had greeted her pulled her into a hug but drew back. "You look so different."

"You don't," Lily grinned. "You don't look a day over eighteen."

Alice smiled, "You always were a flatterer. Anyway, make yourself at home. I'll get Frank. OY FRANK LILY'S HERE! COME AND SAY HELLO."

While this was happening, Lily settled herself in an armchair by the fire.

"He's making tea." Alice said, plopping herself down opposite Lily. "You do look different you know," she said again.

"Yeah, more of a mess than last time. How long has it been, two years?"

"Yeah," agreed Alice. "You look glowing."

"Fuming more like!" she laughed bitterly.

Her eyes sparkled. "Frank told me about how you're looking after the infamous Marauders singled-handed."

"How ever did my life come to this?" she asked. But before Alice could answer, Frank Longbottom entered the room carrying the tea tray.

"Alice, keep the noise down - Mother's sleeping." Behind Frank's back, Alice muttered something that sounded like "Witch." She nodded in understanding, thinking of Doreen.

"Anyway, Lily," started Frank, sitting on the arm of Alice's chair after pouring her a cup of tea and putting a reassuring arm around his wife. "Have you heard the news?"

"News? What news?"

Frank grinned placing a hand carefully on Alice's stomach "We're having a baby!"

-------

"Cheer up Prongs!"

"Yeah, I mean it could be worse."

"Padfoot," said a disgruntled James, "How could anything be worse than this?"

Sirius said nothing and offered a packed of cigarettes around the room. James shook his head as he shook the packet at him.

"Fine then," Sirius said, sitting back in his chair and lighting his own cigarette with his wand. He inhaled deeply. "Are you sure she's worth it, Prongs?"

"Merlin, yes, I've never been surer of anything in my entire life."

"Apart from the fact you're not that way inclined," joked Sirius.

"So," pressed Remus, ignoring Sirius' outburst.

"I dunno. I just think she's hiding something from me."

Rolling his eyes, Sirius said, "All women are like that. Ain't that right, Moony?" He earned a slap upside the head.

"Shut up!" Remus shot James a sympathetic look. "Sirius, for God's sake, do something useful and make a cup of tea."

"You know where the Firewiskey is."

Sirius crossed the room and disappeared into the Kitchen. But it was only several seconds later that his head popped round the door.

"Prongs mate, we have a problem."

"What have you done?" James asked quickly. "It better not be my mother's bone china, it's been in the family for gen—" He stopped as Sirius placed a box on the coffee table and they all stared at it, frowning.

------

"Alice, have you spoken to Dumbeldore?" Lily asked in a hushed voice.

"Yes, of course!"

"Then—" she started.

"Oh Lily, you don't believe all that spy rubbish!" she scoffed.

"Alice, but he said it could stop You-Know-Who."

"If anyone does it it will be Aurors not a baby." She spoke as though she had thought the whole thing through very carefully. "Anyway, how do you know about—Oh Lily!" She pulled her friend into another hug.

"You silly thing, and you haven't told James?"

"Not anyone," Lily answered, blushing. Now she heard it from Alice she realised how stupid she had been,

"Listen, Frank will protect me. I trust him. James will do the same for you."

"I don't know."

"He's your husband." Alice insisted.

"That's just it, I don't know for how much longer."

"Then that's why you have to tell him." Alice insisted.

"So he'll stay with me because of the baby. Whatever you say Alice there are spies - people we thought were on our side. Our friends!"

"Oh!" she sounded appalled "You can't think any of the Marauders—"

"I don't know what to think anymore." She shook her head. "I really don't"

-------

By the time Lily got back to Godric's Hollow it was nearly morning.

She let herself quietly into the house, hoping everyone was asleep.

Her foot was on the bottom stair when she turned around and jumped. Remus was sat at the kitchen table. He looked weary, a mug clasped in his hands. The weak morning light flooding through the gap in the curtains illuminated the scars on his face.

"Lily." He sounded tired and Lily wondered how long it was until the next Full Moon. He didn't look upset or angry, but something in his voice hinted towards the feeling that he was curious. She wished he would just smile and break the uneasy atmosphere.

"Lily, is there anything you want to tell me?"

She shook her head.

Remus narrowed his eyes and gestured for her to sit down opposite him.

"Lily, I know we haven't spoken for a while but if you ever need to talk—"

"No, I'm fine" she cut across him quickly, panic seemed to rise up inside her. What if he knows? She thought.

Some of her worry seemed to show on her face because the man smiled, "I won't judge you, because well…." He glanced at the moon.

"Remus, what have I got to do with your…?"

He stood up went into the living room, then came back, placing a box on the table.

"Sirius found these." Her face suddenly turned pale. It was a box of blood-flavoured lollypops that she had got a craving for a few days ago.

"Lily, why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Because I understand, even if you couldn't talk to James you could have come to me." It didn't make sense how Remus could understand about her having a baby unless… Sirius was right and he was a girl! She shook her head. Somehow I don't think that's right.

"Remus, what the hell are you talking about?"

"You."

"What about me?" she asked, starting to get annoyed.

He took a deep breath and spurted out "You being a vampire!"


	7. Reality check

**Hello everyone here at long last is chapter seven. I'm so sorry for not getting this chapter out soooner but my muse ran off then my lovely beta had to go all the way to england (Thank you cath btw) BUT i have chapter 8 nearly done so you will not have to wait as long. Sorry again. Please review.**

**Kerrie x-x-x-x-x**

Chapter 7

Lily couldn't help it, she started to laugh. "A what?" she cried.

"A Vampire." Remus answered stiffly. She took one look at his grim face and stopped abruptly .

"Remus Lupin, how many NEWTS did you get again?" she asked mockingly.

"But it all adds up," Remus insisted, counting the things off his fingers "The letters, the glasses, going out at night, the sweets."

"But—"

"Lily, you can always talk to me, you know that. I'm mean, for God sake. I'd be a hypocrite to judge you like that. And… if you don't want to talk to James… well, it's up to you…" He trailed off.

"Remus," Lily breathed. "Honestly, I swear I have nothing to tell you. If I did I would."

"But why would you have _blood _flavoured lollies? You don't accidentally pick up _Blood_ flavour instead of raspberry?"

"Unless you're Sirius." Lily insisted.

"Unless you're Sirius," he agreed, nodding. "But even so… Lily." He looked straight at her and she couldn't stand to have his eyes locked on hers and quickly averted her gaze. "I always thought you and me had something special between us. That we could tell each other anything…"

"Remus." She started. Lily couldn't cope, she needed to tell someone. Alice was right; it was stupid to hide it. And Remus was listening –unlike James— he actually cared enough to listen to her. "I'm-" She stopped. It was only one word. So why was it so hard to say?

Where has he been? She asked herself. How do I know _he_ isn't the spy?

"I'm not the Vampire. It's Patrick." She hated herself for saying it.

Opening his mouth in disbelief, Remus couldn't utter a word. "But don't tell anyone. Promise."

After a short while, Remus managed to find his voice again and agreed. "But…"

"He didn't know which way to turn." Lily said quickly. "He remembers how after Snape," -she spat his name- "exposed you and that I was the one who helped you. He didn't know what else to do…" She started to cry. Why hadn't she been able to bring herself to say it?

Remus seemed to take her crying to do with Patrick and started comforting her. "Lily, don't worry, everything will be fine." And this, if anything, made her sob louder.

----

It was ironic to think that this was the best she had slept in months, Lily thought. So all she had to do was get accused of being a Vampire and cry her guts out….

But really she felt worse. Deep inside her stomach there was a nagging pain (that had nothing to do with the baby.) she shouldn't have lied – shouldn't have brought Patrick into all this mess that was her life. It wasn't fair.

Lily was so emerged in worry that when she stepped out of the bathroom (her morning-sickness had at last subsided), she didn't notice the atmosphere in the house had changed.

She could hear whistling coming from the kitchen as well as the sounds of someone attempting to cook. And as Lily approached the sounds of this unnatural domestic bliss, she noticed that the house seemed much tidier than it had been the previous night.

Lily stopped when she entered the Kitchen as she couldn't believe what she saw before her eyes. James was stood at the stove wearing an apron with the a picture of a French maids body on the front. Cooking.

A larger bouquet of flowers had been arranged at the kitchen table and the table had been set for two. Lily rubbed her eyes and gingerly sat down. She picked up the _Daily Prophet _that was also on the table, unfolded it and began to read.

More deaths. In fact she was so interested in it she didn't look up until she heard someone deliberately coughing. Looking up, she saw James stood right in front of her with a huge smile on his face.

"Morning ," he said cheerfully, and he bent down to kiss her. "Do you want kippers or a fry up?" he asked.

"I'm not really very hungry." She answered, rather perplex at James' change in attitude.

James shrugged, turned and buttered some toast and laid in down in front of her.

Lily was about to point out that she didn't want anything but before she could open her mouth, James interrupted, " Happy Valentines, love!."

Her mouth formed a 'o'. James seemed to noticed this because he said rather meekly, "We are still going to celebrate today aren't we because—"

"Yes, of course." Lily said in a high pitched voice, cutting across James. "I've got you a present it's um…. It's upstairs…"

James raised his eyebrow seductively "Really?" He said in a deep masculine voice.

Jumping to her feet Lily made her way quickly out of the room before James could follow her with his sex-driven thoughts. In actual fact, Lily had completely forgotten what the date was. Maybe it was because she had been having a bad time as of late or it could have been her denial that her marriage was once again "fine" and they had nothing much to celebrate. Whatever it was, it wasn't going to help her now.

She found a pair of slippers that she had meant to give to her father for Christmas but had somehow forgotten and quickly snatched them up. It was James' turn to be surprised when Lily handed him the brown slippers made of carpet-like material.

"Err…Wow Lily, they're great!" He smiled quickly. "Your present is a surprise. Just be ready to go out a one today, ok?"

"James, I've got work!"

Looking mischievous, he answered, "I flooed in sick for you."

Lily gave him a questioning look but he just shook his head and rumpled his hair. He them proceed to shout "CRAP!" as he turned around and saw that the kitchen stove was on fire and a large amount of thick black smoke was filling the house.

---

"Hey Prongs, liking the slippers," joked Sirius, as he sat down next to James. The said slippers were on the coffee table.

"Shut up! Anyway, I thought you said you were bringing Moony with you."

Sirius shrugged, "He said something about not wanting to impose and all."

Waving the information away, Sirius started to examine the slippers more closely. "He's not still worried about what happen last night?" James asked.

Sirius shook his head, "Nah. Did he say anything to you about what happened?"

James didn't answer. It was rather odd come to think of it that Remus was avoiding him and wouldn't speak about what had happened last night. "You don't think Remus _knows _do you?" He said it as if was something dangerous and would explode any moment.

"Knows? Knows what?" Sirius said naively.

"Just _knows_."

"James." Sirius put down the slipper that a moment before he had been sniffing and looked up with a serious expression on his face. "Lily will talk when she's good and ready and she'll talk to you. Because for some strange reason that is unknown to man, Lily loves you."

"That was rather deep, Paddy." James commented.

"Why yes, Prongs." Sirius dabbed at the corner of his eye with his shirt. "It was."

----

When Lily met James at one o'clock that afternoon, she didn't know why she felt so nervous.

'He's probably only taking me out for lunch,' she told herself. But something made her feel that was not the case.

'I can feel it in my water…'

She had always found this statement rather odd but it seemed fitting now as once again her bladder was fuller to bursting point.

"Woah! Lily?" James asked as Lily dashed passed him towards the toilet.

"Sorry, be right there!" she called.

After a few minutes, Lily remerged from the bathroom.

"Shall we go then?" James checked his watch. "We aren't going to Apparate are we?" Lily asked nervously.

"Don't you want to? Well, we could Floo I guess…"

"I'd rather walk," Lily mumbled.

---

The emerald flames vanished from the fire the instant she stepped out onto the hearth. Lily grabbed onto James for support as the room span around. Never had she really liked travelling by Floo Powder and she was deciding it more every minute. As the room slowly stopped moving Lily looked around.

"James, where are we?"

They seemed to be a reception room of some sort, rows of soft chairs lined the wall and every now and again there was a door leading off into another room. Potted plants stood in huge tubes in random places, but what was the oddest thing was the Wizards and Witches that sat on the chairs some right on the opposite side of the room, glaring at one another in silence.

Making a hushing sound James grabbed hold of Lily's hand as if he was in the middle of a battle zone and cautiously made his way over to two unoccupied chairs. As they passed, one Witch rolled her eyes and another made a tutting sound with her tongue.

"James?" Lily whispered. James started humming to himself as he picked up a pamphlet and started thumbing through it. "James?" she repeated, but before she could say anything else a loud speaker with a high pitched woman's voice said sharply, "Mr and Mrs Potter?" Several of the people flinched nearby at the words _Mr and Mrs._

James got up and so did Lily with a puzzled expression on her face. They made there way across the room to the far door. "Good luck, mate," said one of the wizards sat next to a large red-faced woman. James turned to the man and gave him the thumbs up sign, promptly fell over one of the pots of flowers and tumbled head first through the doorway.

"Excuse me, Mr Potter."

James looked up and stood before him was a fierce looking woman, who funnily enough looked like a younger version of Professor McGonnagall. "If you cannot even enter a simple room without falling over it is no wonder your marriage is failing," she said briskly. James looked like he had been slapped across the face. "And you." She said, turning to Lily. "You stand there giggling like a school child as the man you promise to honour and obey is humiliated in front of all and sundry."

"Sit!" she snapped, indicating to two high back wooden chairs in front of what most presumably was her desk.

Gingerly, the pair sat down.

"Right Mrs Potter, you first."

"Me what?" Lily asked, and as she did, in the corner of her eye she caught slight of a brass plaque engraved with the words: _Francis Washington-Brown Marriage __councillor._

Whispering in the hope that Francis Washington-Brown wouldn't hear her "James darling?"

"Hmm?" he asked, his cheeks turning red. "Why didn't you tell me you were taking me to a MARRIAGE COUNCILLOR?"

Quickly, he muttered something about Lily not going if she knew.

"Of course I wouldn't go, you bloody nob! We have no problems."

"Lily honey, I just wanted you to open up to me. If you've got any issues with anything love, I want to hear about them."

"I HAVE NO ISSUES!" She screamed. "And if I did James, I would discuss them with you in private no here."

"Lily-" he started, but Lily cut him off. "Do you know what he's done?" She said, turning to the woman who had been watching the proceedings as if it was paint drying. "He bloody takes me here on Valentines day of all days - under false pretences. He and his bum chums accuse me of being a Vampire! He dresses in drag! Never cleans! Turns my house into a soup kitchen for any of his hobo fiends. Accuses me of having an affair. HE FLAMING STALKED ME FOR SEVEN YEARS!" Lily was at her feet now, pointing at James. "AND HIS MOTHER-"

"DON'T BRING MY MOTHER INTO ALL THIS!" James said, also rising to his feet.

"AND WHY SHOULDN'T I JAMES? YOU WANTED ME TO OPEN UP SO I AM!"

"Mrs Potter," said the Marriage Councillor. "Maybe Mr Potter should have his say."

Lily sat down, deflated.

"Thank you."

He messed his hair. "Lily, you've been so secretive. You don't get on with my friends. You don't get on with my family. You poisoned me."

"In Third Year!"

"You've cursed me. Hexed me. Thrown nearly every object imaginable at my head."

-----

"Mr Potter. Mrs Potter," said Francis, her lips pursed. "I have heard from both of you now. And all I can say is… Get a divorce. Quick. Here, take his card. It has the number of a good lawyer on it. I cannot understand one single reason that possessed you two to go out. You are completely wrong for each other. You Mrs Potter have been living a life of misery and depression, you can tell that by the colour of your hair. And you, Mr Potter, are gay. That much is clear."

But Mrs Washington hadn't finished. "In my professional opinion, you two should never have got married…."


	8. public brawl

**Chapter 4**

Lily massaged her knuckles.

"Are you ok?" James asked worriedly. She nodded in response.

They were now sat on the Knight Bus hurtling over a rickety bridge towards a swamp. The witch in front stood up as the bus came to a halt and descended down the steps, but the stench of dead fish seemed to linger …

_Lily and James both looked thunderstruck. That's it, Lily thought. She knew for once that this woman was wrong. And as she looked at James she felt a surge of love for him like she hadn't felt in a long time. Miss Washington-Brown, however, looked slightly smug, as if she knew the answer to a riddle that James and herself had been puzzling over for an age._

_Lily stood up quickly and strode across the room. James and Miss Washington-Brown followed meekly in her wake. _

"_Mrs Potter, if it's any consolation," the woman said, "I think you must be very strong to put up with your 'husband' for this long." _

"_What did you say?" James spat. "I love Lily, I'd never…" He shook his head to Lily; it seemed that he couldn't find the right words to express what he felt, but Lily knew what he meant._

"_James, don't bother wasting words on her," she spat, glaring at the marriage councillor. James nodded and opened the door. _

"_Have a nice weekend!" The woman said, smiling. _

_That was it. _

_Without even realising what she was doing, Lily spun round, her hand curling into a fist that connected with Miss Washington-Brown's jaw. _

"Lily…" James started but she shook her head and he fell silent. "I'm sorry." A tear rolled down her cheeks.

"I've been a bitch, James. I've got something to tell you, but first you must understand that I'm so sorry…"

The bus shuddered and now they were going down a dark alleyway in London heading towards the _Leaky Cauldron._

At last Lily was going to tell him what had been bothering her, but suddenly he realised he didn't want to know. James wasn't going to force Lily to tell him anything- it didn't matter.

"Shh..." He told her. "Lily it doesn't matter… Don't get upset . Not today."

The bus came to an erratic stop. "Come on." He said suddenly, taking hold of Lily's bruised hand and leading her to the front of the bus. "It's Valentines Day. Let's stop and have a drink. I told Sirius we might be stopping for a quick one"

Ruffled, Lily stepped off after James into the pub. Tom the barkeeper gave James and herself a gummy grin while wiping down the surface of the bar.

"Long time no see James," greeted the barman.

"Too long," returned James with a laugh.

"So, what'll it be? Doing a special on mango and Firewhiskey cocktails for today."

James looked quizzically a Lily. "I'll just have a glass of water if that's all the same."

"Spoil sport. I'll have a cocktail, thanks Tom, and don't go easy on the Firewhiskey."

Handing over some money to Tom, James turned suddenly.

"James!" Mundungus stalked over to James and slapped him on the back in a way of a friendly gesture. "Just the man I wanted to see. I've got a bit of a proposition for you…" He led James away from the bar and into the shadows of a far away corner. Lily shook her head; Mundungus now seemed to be showing James something hidden within the folds of his cloak.

"Here 'ya go." Tom handed Lily a glass of water.

"Thanks." Lily sipped and looked around the bar. You wouldn't think there was a war on, she told herself. Lily guessed that people had gotten used to it.

Between the chatter of three older witches talking about there rich husbands and the vampire who was talking quickly in an unknown language to what she supposed was thin air, her eyes landed on a small hooded figure at the end of the bar. Maybe it was her imagination but she thought that the figure kept stealing glances at her…

The atmosphere changed in a second. A man rushed into the pub from the front door, screaming. Before the scream had even finished escaping his lips, the man fell down, dead.

No sooner than he fell down the door was blasted of its hinges and a group of people who appeared to be Death Eaters entered the pub. People panicked and started to run around. Screams shattered the air. James appeared at Lily's side.

"Lily, you've got to Apparate."

"What about you?" she asked, already knowing the answer. She ducked to avoid a bar stool that was hurtling towards her head.

"I've got to stay here." He turned towards Tom. "Tom, we've got to stop them getting access of Diagon alley. If they do, there's no telling what they might do." Tom nodded and with lots of agility jumped up onto the bar brandishing his wand.

James patted Lily quickly on the shoulder and then was gone. One of the witches that had been talking seconds before was lying on the floor. Forgetting James' words, she rushed over to her, stunning one of the Death Eaters in the progress.

When Lily had first joined the Ministry she had taken a Healers course and had passed with flying colours. She had even considered joining St. Mungo's instead but had decided against it in the end. The Healer part of her brain seemed to take over, the woman was loosing lots of blood - too much. She muttered a spell stemming most of the bleed. She now turned her attention on a man a few meters away…

And so it went on. Half of the people Lily tried to help couldn't be, but she had no time for remorse at the moment. Lily hadn't seen James since the fighting had broken out and she looked around now.

No. He wasn't there.

"Dung!" she called out towards Mundungus who was scrambling around trying to pick up a selection of watches off of the floor. "Where's—JAMES!" She screamed.

James was battling with a Death Eater that towered above him but he didn't know that another one was creeping up behind him. Lily flung herself forward at the Death Eater shooting a spell at him. He fell to the floor.

James had finished battering with his giant Death Eater and turned to Lily with an expression of utter terror on his face. His mouth was open but before he could shout any warning, Lily was hit in the stomach and fell down.

Blackness.

----

Lily's eyes fluttered open. She was lying in her bed at home at Godric's Hollow. James' blurry face came into focus.

"Lily?"

She smiled and sat up in bed rubbing at her eyes.

"Hey."

"God, you got everyone really worried.".

"James, what about-" she started to ask.

"Lily, don't worry. The Ministry arrived a few seconds after you went out. The Death Eaters never made it past me and Dung."

She had to laugh. "I'm sure I saw Mudungus hiding under a table at one point."

"Yeah, well, anyway, most people are recovering at St. Mungo's." Lily didn't question the way James said "most".

"So why aren't I at St. Mungo's?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Dumbledore asked for you to be brought here, had that new hot new nurse from up at the school have a look at you." James dismissed her unanswered question with a shrug. "Still teachers pet." He laughed again but his eyes seem to sparkle with tears. "I'm so happy you're alright Lily. For a moment there I thought… I thought..."

"Shh." Lily kissed him on the cheek. "It's alright." She found herself suddenly crying. "I'm fine. I'm not going to be going anywhere, okay?"

"Remus is here, and Peter. Don't worry," he added. "I'll make sure they behave." She smiled gratefully. "Listen, while I remember, Dumbledore gave me this." He pulled out of a pocket in his robes a letter and handed it to Lily. Studying the slanting, looping writing, Lily wondered what Dumbledore would be writing about this time.

A bang from downstairs signalled James' departure. ("SIRIUS, WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT DAMN BIKE?) Lily chuckled to herself despite the fact that tomorrow she would more than likely be scraping the Marauders from floor after that stupid bike had run them over. Turning back to her letter, Lily opened it. She wasn't sure why her hands were shaking so badly.

_Lily, I cannot speak at ease by this means of communication, but I think that it wasn't a coincidence that you were at the pub while it was attacked today. I cannot say more here, but please be on alert. Spies are everywhere. Try to stay indoors, or if you must, go out with James. Think. Who knew your location in advance today? I will see you soon I'm sure._

_Yours, Albus Dumbeldore. _

A sickening feeling came over Lily, a wave of dread washing over her. The stakes it seemed had just been raised. And…and hadn't James said himself that he had told Sirius about going for a drink?

----------

**Gosh this chapter turnt out more depressing that planned. I'm sorry guys. Don't flame me please lol. Anyway. Thanks again to the wonderful Cath for Beta-ing this for me. Hopefully more fun in the next chapter.**

**Please review my new nick name is the comment whore on lj.**

**Kisses to everyone who has faved/reviewed/put me on an alert. Kerrie x-x-x-x**


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